Somewhere Among The Stars |
“You live here?” Sam asked examining the layer of dust with his finger.
“I do now, you see my father passed away in this very house almost a month ago, this is the inheritance he left me and I plan on keeping it.” “You don’t seem to be grieving much over his death.” He tested steadily. He noticed the small array of cobwebs on the ceiling. “Didn’t know him well enough to, he left my mother and I when I was only five.” Richman seemed slightly unnerved about the scenario. “Hmm.” Sam started with a pause arriving at the staircase. “And now you believe he’s haunting you out of grief or something right?” “Day and night.” He responded affirmatively. A loud banging happened as well as a shatter coming from the upstairs; eagerly Sam brought out his scanner and ran his way up the stairs only stopping to listen. Richman he noticed did not follow him remaining as white as a ghost on the first floor. Silent and listening Sam focused his attentions between the sounds and his scanner, which had picked up no readings. A howl vocalized through the house that was quite ghastly, but defiantly not like a human spirit in theory would. He noticed how much louder it was in e vents than anywhere else, explaining how it could seem everywhere at once.
4 Comments
3/28/2017 12:42:15 pm
I like it because it this really shows how talented you are as an author. If this was my paper I wouldn't change anything I thought it was really good. I like how you even described something as simple as the dust comment. Like it a lot
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Sara Moody
3/28/2017 12:46:01 pm
It seems like there is a very nice story being developed through this writing. Something to improve might be to add some detail of the dad. But overall I liked how you shared this portion of the story.
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Cassie
3/28/2017 12:49:53 pm
I really like how this story is coming along so far. As with all the stories you write, I quite enjoy them. The only thing I saw was a couple of grammar errors, yet overall you have a good story going.
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Elizabeth
3/28/2017 12:53:54 pm
Good overall, but it did have a few grammar mistakes. I liked how it created an understanding with the main character developing the bond between reader and story. The thing I would have done though was maybe put in a little more detail of the setting. It was great though I like reading it.
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AuthorFiction and science fiction short stories written by Alanna Shae. Reveiws and random writings also by Alanna Shae. Also inspirational works not done by Alanna Shae. Archives
April 2017
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